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5 Ways Drinking Gives You Super Powers

5 Ways Drinking Gives You Super Powers

Can drinking genuinely give you super powers? There are individuals out there, hidden amongst us, ready to unleash their inner legend on the unsuspecting world after uttering the magic words ‘Okay, last round.’

It is amazing what a little liquid courage can do for a person. Yes, a couple drinks can make us superheroes, not even comics would dare to describe. Whether born with such powers or developing them in a time of need, these super human properties are f%&#*^ fantastic!

We have jotted down a couple ways that people develop temporary yet legendary powers after a couple drinks… well genuinely more than a couple. Here’s looking at you, kid!

 

I Fits, I Sits

One of the more common super human powers that develop after 12, *cough* 10:30 in some cases. This power gives It’s human the ability to literally fall asleep anywhere… floors, bathroom stalls, or in a pot plant in the garden. Not only can they handle sleeping on a rigid, hard, surface colder than your ex’s heart, they can become liquid. Head first, wrapped around the bottom of a toilet bowl or upside down off of a chair, they are able to gain the ‘I fits, I sits’ mentality of a dustbin cat.

 

Supreme Athleticism

There ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no valley low enough, ain’t no river wide enough! A couple drinks down, there is nothing that can halt your new found ability to run fast, climb the Great Wall of China or surf down a flight of stairs starkers on a surf board. One of the more dangerous sides of becoming super human, but nothing beats a good story with a couple of idiotic bruises.

 

Are You Human or are You A Dancer?

You have to accept that after one or two drinks your body naturally just starts to accept the rhythm of music being played around you. Even the guy at the end of the bar with his Pantera top can’t resist jamming hard to some really crappy pop music after he is finished with a double gin and tonic. Bringing out all the good old moves, from the snorkel to the Macarena this super power proves that anyone can get their feet moving with a great jam in the background.

 

Goggles of fortune

The ability to make people look like Heidi Klum or Jake Gyllenhaal. The dreaded beer goggles give its human the power to change visual perception of people around them. Great for a moment but is mostly accompanied by a haunting side effect called regret. Beer goggles 99.999% of the time get you a side order of “WHY????” but you never know, you might be the 0.001% of the population that actually pull a looker so keep stead.

 

Consume All Things!

It has come to that time of the night and your brain begins to send signals to your stomach. Time for a greasy pizza or cheesy quarter pounder with chips. This super power gives you the ability to consume your own body weight in high fat, carby fast food which will leave you waking up with a tomato ketchup stained dress and receipt for almost 20 quid. Don’t worry we all do it, try not to stand on the scales for the next few days.­­

Apart from generally transforming people in to more social animals and enabling its human to speak a vary foreign language that scientists today are struggling to understand, it seems that drinking can indeed give people super powers at the price of regret and pain the next day.

For all you party people or even the casual drinker, take a look at our Social Animal section to see the many ways you can summon your inner super powers. If you have any questions about our products, please do not hesitate to give us a shout on 0845 500 1215.