Summer is just round the corner, the invites to the “quick pint after work in the beer garden” are starting to flood in and let’s face it, the looming morning hangovers are well on their way. In the interest of you all keeping your jobs this summer, we’ve put together our top tips on how to disguise that obvious lack of sleep and feeling of pure regret from your boss. Take note.
Tip Number One: Whatever You Do, Do Not Call In Sick
In the words of Radio Head “You do it to yourself and that’s why it really hurts”, suck it up you vodka warrior, do not call in sick. This is the oldest trick in the book and there is bound to be a photo of you mid tequila shot put on Instagram or Facebook throughout the day.
Tip Number Two: Take a SHOWER!
Unless hobo-chic is your everyday look, do not risk strolling into work looking like Lindsey Lohan on a good day. No matter how late, a shower is vital. DO NOT overlook this tip, it could save your life.
Tip Number Three: MDP! Mouthwash, Deodorant, Perfume.
Let’s avoid the “You smell like a brothel” conversation. Mouthwash, extra deods and perfume -double spray. Tip number three is essential if you are going to make any contact with the boss.
Tip Number Four. Come Bearing Gifts!
By this point you are most likely running ten minutes late. Stop in at the local bakery or corner shop. Pick up cupcakes or doughnuts and head in to the office. This often softens the blow and you’ve just supplied yourself with a good dose of carbs. See what we did there. #TwoBirdsOneStone.
Tip Number Five: You Say It Best, When You Say Nothing At All
You read right, head down and get the job done. You don’t need to mention about how you snogged James the accountant before climbing in your taxi last night. Some things are just better left unsaid.
Tip Number Six: Do Not Go Out Again Tonight.
Give it a rest you social animal. You’ll need that liver in 10 years’ time.